Hey guys,
As a minor confession, I have an extremely short temper, and tend to get frustrated really easily at the smallest things - this is a part of me that's usually kept pretty well hidden to all but my closest friends and family. I didn't realize until last nite that my chief source of frustration towards friends lies in my oftentimes unfair/unrealistic expectations that come from how kind/well i envision myself treating them and in expecting the same treatment in return. People and relationships are too complicated to be reduced into such a simple system of give and take.
Was reminded of the very definition of love given in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, more specifically the part that talks about how love keeps no record of wrongs. at the risk of heresy, i'd like to add to paul's words and say that love does not keep record of rights either. Love is not about feeling (however subconsciously) cheated or smugly satisfied if i gave more than the other person and super uncomfortable if i gave less. I'd call both extremes "pride," and id lose either way. as a good friend puts it, its only when we rest in God that we're able to truly give freely and unconditionally - which is hte only way to give in love.
I'm not saying that we should let ourselves be mistreated or exploited by our friends, but i highly doubt that my problem lies in friends who're out to exploit me or aren't good/kind enough (FAR from that). The problem lies in my tendency to treat friendship as a currency - and feeling angry each time someone "lets me down," as if i was cheated in some kind of business transaction. It's so subtle how my mind does it too, I honestly had no idea i was keeping scores and it's led to so many arguments and estrangements in the past. sorry to everybody i've hurt in this way, so much more growing up to do...-.-v
Not sure how this could be encouraging to people, i kinda figure this is more of an Edward thing but thought i'd share that lil epiphany w/ u guys anyways in case im not the only one. if u find urself keeping score as well, i encourage you to not do it anymore and learn to communicate ur expectations to others in a way that is loving and gracious.
Anyways, have a happy Wednesday!
Edward
P.S. Humility, it works.
Animation v.s. Animator (part II)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxM1cnphLpw
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