"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgement." - Psalm 51:3-4
sup guys,
I came across this familiar psalm earlier this week, it was written by david after nathan exposed his adulterous relationship with bathsheba. This passage came at a particularly great time for me as I'm going through a season of struggle not only with sin, but also apathy towards my sins.
One thing's always bothered me about how david said to God "against you and you only have I sinned." what about bathseba, whom he raped? or uriah, her husband, whom he murdered? or the child who died as a result of his sin? I came to this understanding: we hurt people, we sin against God. We apologize to people, we repent to God. There is a subtle but profound difference between the two. Repentance is more than an apology in the form of a prayer, it is an acknowledgment of God's proper place of sovereignty in our lives and our failure to hold God in highest regard. Because that's what "sin" really boils down to, failing to attribute to God his proper worth in our lives and falling into idolatry. pornography, spousal abuse, and habitual lying are merely surface level manifestations of a rebellion that goes much deeper, and it is that rebellion that requires repenting. This is why Jesus upped the ante when he said that even lustful thoughts and unvoiced hatred counts as sins; because even without actions, our thoughts (although they hurt no one) betray how far short we fall from God's holy standards, demonstrating again and again our need for a saviour.
If I treat repentance as merely an apology, i can (and will) put it off when im angry, when i do not feel like it, when I feel i can justify my sins with pathetic excuses. I know this about myself because, thats EXACTLY what I do when I do not feel like apologizing to a person I have wronged. So my prayer for myself and encouragement to you all this week is to consider deeply where sin dwells in your life. more than the surface level behaviours and addictions, but areas where you've perhaps never realized you were openly rebelling against God. Then to hold that sin up to God, realize that it was our sins that held Christ upon the cross and let Godly sorrow lead you into God-honouring repentance.
Happy Wednesday to you all,
Edward
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." - 1 John 1:9-10
"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" - Romans 7:24-25
"For Godly sorrow produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly sorrow produces death." - 2 Corinthians 7:10
Adorable clip of dog saying grace before breakfast, courtesy of fanny =D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9-3zfs33a0
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